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• In the immortal words of What'sHisName from Weiss: "I can't tell you, we're on broadcast television."
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• Monette

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myOtaku.com: Zero System


Friday, December 8, 2006

Never. Gonna. Happen.
Should I cry? I mean, obviously I'm not the best at this whole art thing. I'm good, thats fine, I don't want to be the best. But my hands shake and my chair is always in the way of my elbow and I can SEE the picture but most days it just won't come out the end of my pencil.

Ha! Isn't that why they call us tormented artists? I'm about ready to cut my hands off and just be done with the whole goddamned mess. I just spent TWO HOURS trying to get a set of eyes level. Level, as in, within a couple milimeters of each other, rather than inches. And no one and nothing I draw comes out the way it's suppoed to look. and the information is all there in my head- This needs to be just so, and that line will need to go there- but they don't!

We all joke about the muses (never have anything to do with the muses in spring by the way, Anton Chekov was a very wise man) but why is it somedays I can just dump paint out onto the canvas and it comes out looking perfect (even to me and I'm NEVER satisfied) and ten minutes later I can't make chicken scratches jealous? And it isn't that the pictures aren't there- I can see them clearer than anything I can see in front of me, inked, full color, and shaded... But nothing worth burning will come out of my fingers?

And the same goes for writing. Except it's all crap. I can see it, the words on the paper, I can ear it, clear as if someone were reading aloud to me, but when I copy the words down it reads like trash!

I'm gonna go listen to my ipod at such volumes to make my ears bleed.

And WHY the HELL don't I have any music I LIKE?!?!
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