Friday, December 22, 2006

I caught a cold...
Kyu... I know you sent it to me over the internet. lmao xD

I feel like crap now.... my throat hurts -__-

I can't believe I was up untill 1:15 last night just so I can listen to "In The End" by Linkin Park on the radio.... when I had the CD with me the entire time. They only show GOOD music on the radio late, late, late at night. God I'm retarded.

Good night...
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Smile untill you stop!-JV
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Another gloomy day...
It's been like that for the past few days, not that I hate it or anything of course. It always looks like it'll either rain or snow but it doesn't. Which is gay. Because I love them both... so much.

So here I am. Thinking again. Today I don't feel like I should share anything with anyone. So I won't discuss any situations currently going on. Instead, I'll just discuss what is currently going through my mind.

My friend asked my once if I knew what the purpose of life is. I've been talking to some people and they have made me believe that my existance is meaningless. Not that I didn't think that way before, but now I'm just reassured about it. This is my opinion, which you don't need to believe... but just bear with me please.
Life is what you make it is what someone told me. Which, means that you work to make a life for yourself, I think. Other people have told me that everything we know is just a dream. Nothing is real. I actually believed that my life is like that. You know? Kind of like a movie. There's a beginning and an end... and not a single damn thing about it is real. Things along those lines have helped me come to my conclusion about the age old question. I would like to know other people's opinions, but I fear getting a ton of hate PMs damning me for not believing whatever they believe in... or trying to convert me to whatever religion. I hate people like that. My opinion is my opinion. Respect it, and I'll respect yours. But now I feel like I'm covering some whole other theme, so back to what is important, to me, at the moment.

Though I believe that life and our existance is pointless, one of my friends has given me something to really think about. It doesn't really change my opinion, but it does give me a hint... a small hint of doubt in my thoughts. Our world is fucked up right now, which adds on to my hate for everything. So this is why, my friend thinks we should at least try to make it... a bit... better. Not necessarily for us because most people in the world right now are power hungry, arrogant, unintelligent pieces of shit, but instead for the upcoming generations. The innocent people who don't deserve all of the crap and misery that this world has at the moment.

I don't know if you would call that a purpose. Maybe it is. Maybe it's not. I guess it really depends on what kind of person you are, but it's your life not mine...
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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

DAMN THEM...
I just noticed how much I hate hobos.... I feel proud of myself for figuring that out....

O___o.....currently listening to The Black Parade.... it kicks ass...
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It Ends Today... I Mean Tonight
So Winter Break starts today... things happened today that make me believe that it won't be... as bad as I thought. Someone who I thought was coming isn't. Which... is good. I got presents from my friends, which means that they care, which is extreamly good. I got a letter from Courtnie, which is kick ass. And Kevin and me are officially together. Which rox my sox! :P

Irene, thank you for all of the monkey things. They scare me though.... I think I'll draw a monkey killing someone with a banana.... it should be fun. >:]............ gahhh! I <3 the panda Kevin! I must name it.... because it's just awesome like that. I like the perfume and the card deck too. Now I can go gamble and win back meh crack.... some hobo won it in a game of poker last night. Bastard....

KYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Get better............................ or else............... ^^ jk....... but seriously.... hope you get better.......

That's all.... I think.... bye, bye my fellow crack heads. Remember, we kill the hobos tonight. Alright?
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Sunday, December 17, 2006

...
God... the sudden feeling of total sadness. It's horrible. Knowing that I'll have to stay home for about 2 weeks during Winter Break just makes me want to kill myself. I hate it here so much. All that there is are fights, fights, fights. Everyday. I can't even get a moments peace in my own room without something happening. I don't want to stay here.

I've figured out that the only 2 places where I am honestly happy and at peace are online(where there are more people like me), and in my sleep. I love to sleep. But I usually find myself not being able too. Only in my dreams is where I can be whatever I want and nothing matters. Even in school, life is horrible. Too many people. Most all of them are egotistical, ignorant bastards. They all make life there horrible. No one seems to understand me either. I can only pick out a few people who I can have a real conversation with. I mean, a REAL conversation, not some pointless waste of time and breath with people who pretend to be like you. Who pretend to have real problems.

.... damn those fucking bastards..





Irene, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. Please remember what I told you. Just get it through your head. I don't know if you'll read this, but I'm so sorry. There's nothing I can do for you anymore. If you want to go back, then do it. You KNOW what will happen if you leave.
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I'll keep you alive if you keep me alive.
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Thursday, December 14, 2006

   God.... it's over...
I just came back from the Winter Fest. I actually intended on just messing around, but I ended up working with my mom. It was horrible. I'm tired as hell right now... I shall shower and go to bed in a few minutes.... bye bye...
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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

   Nothing interesting happened today. Tomorrow I'll be going to a thing called the "Winter Fest". It's pretty fun I guess.

Since I actually have heard from my dad, I'm thinking that maybe I can talk him into getting me a laptop for Christmas. Only then will I have something to keep me occupied at 3am other than scribbling on my arms with sharpies. -__-

One of my friends has extreamly low self-esteem. I shall lecture her! >:]

That's all... wow.... this was pointless.... o_o'
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Monday, December 11, 2006

....
Nothing interesting to post today. I feel horrible for some reason. I don't know why. My head has been hurting a lot. I can't sleep.... I find myself falling asleep around midnight.

Lately it's been feeling like one of "those" days. I feel like everything I do is just a pathetic attempt at whatever it is. It's just that things that happen around here.... they are starting to actually effect me. That's something I thought I could actually control, but I feel like my whole life is just deterorating. I hate it.
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Saturday, December 9, 2006

   A Beautiful Example...
I recently went to my little sister's band concert at our school. Which was very good might I add. Afterwards, the 6th grade choir sung. To add on to the "dramatics", they usually turn off the lights and have seperate spot lights shining on the kids.
Well, this lady thought it would be very smart to run down the stairs without holding the railings, in the dark. And guess what happened next?

She fell on her ass... down the stairs.
She fell on another lady too. I was probably the only person that was actually laughing. I know, I know. It wasn't right. But the stupid lady deserved it. I mean, COME ON! Isn't it just common sense that you don't run down a flight of stairs, not holding the rails, and did I mention, IN THE DARK?! Stupid bitch.

*sighs* The lady was fine though. She was scared out of her mind. My mom was in shock too. She was sitting behind me. So she saw it all as well. She kept telling me not to laugh, but I really couldn't help myself. >:]
They put the railings on the stairs for a reason. They're there for you to hold on to when you're walking up and down the stairs. They help guide you down the stairs when the room is dark. They're put in the middle of the isles to help prevent idiotic people from running down.
But did the lady think about that? No.
So the bitch fell down the stairs and, please God, learned from her experience.


The lack of common sense in this world is pathetic. Like my subject says, "A Beautiful Example...". The lady falling down the stairs was a beautiful example, was it not?

It depresses me to know that most people in this fucked up world don't think anymore. Not many people seem to have common sense. And the people who actually DO think about things, and the people who actually DO have some damn common sense are the ones who have to suffer due to the mistakes of the jackasses who don't.
Example:
The lady who fell, fell on top of another lady who was unfortnetly sitting in her path.
She didn't get hurt, but the fact that she was involved in it like that was totally unnecessary.

Thank you to the people who actually DO have some common sense. Thank you to the people who think as I do. And all the idiots out there: GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

Screw up your own lives. Leave us out of it.
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Thursday, December 7, 2006

   Updated.... whoot...
I am extreamly happy to say that it snowed last night. Even though it's cold as hell outside, it's still one of my favorite times of the year.

Actually nothing much has happened since the last time I updated. Probably the biggest thing is that my dad actually called... after such a long time.

I've decided to not let him get to me. After about 3 months of not hearing from him(we only got a letter from him once a while ago), he suspects us to be so eager to see him. It's not going down that way.

I visited a real mental institution last weekend. It was exactly as I thought it would be. The secretary was creepy. She smiled so much. She looked kind of crazy herself. It was a big place, but amazingly pretty cool.

Kevin... your locker hates you.
The pop-up in your site makes me feel special...
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