Saturday, June 23, 2007

   :(
as GaarasGal said we lost and so now everything is over. *sigh* this year i really wanted to go to state *crys* i'm so mad because on of the girls just stopped trying and that cost us alot, especially when she got the happest girl on the team ticked.
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hehe

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Friday, June 22, 2007

ok this is EXTREME YAOI once u get into like the middle end so reader beware (and i seen lots worse than this too so dont critizie me)
Passing Comfort

Short breaths escaped his mouth, creating puffs of mist that hung just above his nose in the cold night air as Naruto tried not to make a sound. He could hear the hum of the forest inhabitants around him – the leaves of the trees rustling in the wind, insects buzzing in distant shrubbery, and the snores of his own team mates.

Naruto glanced over at their sleeping forms, watching their chests rise and fall rhythmically beneath the pale moon light. His gaze slid from Sakura, who lay facing away from him on her side, then over to Sai, who was on his back with his head slightly tilted in another direction. Assured for now, he licked his lips and turned his body away from them as one of his hands slid hesitantly up beneath his shirt.

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on the feel of his cool fingers trailing up the slightly warmer skin of his abdomen, up to his chest. He breathed in and then out slowly, caressing the flesh beneath his shirt lightly and forcing his mind to concentrate on the touch alone. He tried to imagine his hands were someone else’s and he allowed the new images in his mind to push away the ones that troubled him constantly otherwise.

Naruto shivered when his cold fingers finally reached a nipple, causing it to perk up slowly as he massaged it between his index and middle. He continued to imagine an anomalous person’s hands doing the very same thing to him in place of his own. A small jolt of pleasure shot from his hardened nipple as he increasingly lost himself in the familiar fantasy, one he had been having increasingly since this mission began just days ago. One that kept the nightmares at bay, delaying the moments when he would wake up in the middle of the cold outdoor nights out of breath and drenched in sweat. It served as his release, and he had gradually found it an essential practice of his nightly routine.

In his mind’s eye, pale hands slid over his warm flesh, caressing his chest and massaging the pert nipples before inevitably sliding lower. Naruto’s own hands mimicked the fantasy, sliding beneath the hem of his pants and ever lower until Naruto had to bite his lip against an involuntary gasp.

The hand slid along Naruto’s hardened flesh, and his back arched into the newly formed fist as though he had no real power over the motion himself. Naruto’s breaths became fast and shallow as the rhythm picked up, sliding up and down as something tightened within his abdomen, just waiting for release. He braced himself for it, knowing it would be over soon, as it had been every other night before. His hand slipped a bit, but he managed to keep the rhythm. He could feel the pressure building now. It wouldn’t be long, before…

“Dobe.”

Naruto’s eyes snapped open, a midnight blue under the blue-black sky above, and his body stiffened completely as his gaze slid over toward the source of that voice. A shadowed figure walked toward him from between the trees. Naruto suddenly felt vulnerable, his hands still firmly down his pants but unable to move as he looked up with wide, disbelieving eyes into the shaded features of a boy he never thought he would see again so soon.

“Sasuke…” Naruto’s voice escaped in a whisper, leaving his mouth open slightly as he followed the dark figure until he was standing right above him.

There was a long pregnant pause between them, one in which Naruto’s brain felt clouded by a type of surreal shock. He could just barely see Sasuke’s face, but he could feel the dark eyes rove over him and it sent chills down his spine, of fear and…excitement. Naruto attempted to shake his head to rid himself of the sudden and unwanted emotions that were coursing through him, and he finally, hastily pulled his hand out of his pants. He cursed himself for his current state, blaming his previous actions and his unfinished condition for the confusing sensations that now roiled through his body at the sight of his long lost friend – the one who had abandoned him.

Attempting to pull himself together, Naruto made to stand up and mask the vulnerability and embarrassment that nearly incapacitated him. The one above him, dim form lined by moonlight, continued to look down at him with an unreadable expression, masked as it always was with an impenetrable stoic quality that only that boy could possess.

Naruto swallowed past a rising lump in his throat, but his gaze hardened as determination and the anger of many sleepless nights and anxious days pushed his fears away. His fingers dug into the earth beneath him and he was suddenly filled with such a strong indignation for the specter above him. It was a familiar feeling, an emotion he had experienced many times before when dealing with Sasuke in the days of their rivalry. His eyes narrowed as Sasuke remained unmoving in his overbearing location, dark detached eyes staring down at him like so many times before. Sasuke was belittling him – without saying a word, the boy was putting him down – and Naruto had had enough.

Letting all the pain coalesce into a fiery ball within his gut, Naruto lashed out at the boy above him, his voice just barely above a whisper but toned with a deep growl that rumbled in his chest. “What the fuck are you…?”

There was barely a sound, just a slight breeze that whisked past his ears, before Naruto was unable to speak. Forceful, wet lips pressed upon his and a heavy weight pushed him down as he fell back onto the yielding earth of the forest floor. The breath was knocked out him, but he couldn’t seem to get it back as those lips continued to move almost painfully against his and the weight of Sasuke’s body pressed down upon his stomach so that their bodies were nearly melded together.

Despite the discomfort, Naruto remained unmoving for a long time as he attempted to gain his bearings, but the shock wore off soon enough as his body screamed at him for lack of oxygen. Naruto snapped and his hand formed a fist, before connecting soundly with Sasuke’s jaw. Sasuke’s lips ripped from his at the impact, and his upper body was unceremoniously flung off of Naruto’s chest, so that Sasuke now lay sprawled beside him, pale legs still tangled with his.

Naruto immediately gasped for air, sucking it in hungrily, his chest rising and falling in quick succession. The cold, clear sky above him clouded over with his breath hitting the air. Sasuke remained unnaturally still beside him. Naruto tilted his head and looked over to see Sasuke watching him silently, one pale cheek embedded in the dirt.

Naruto didn’t know what to make of that look. As always, as Naruto had remembered him, Sasuke didn’t let anything enter his expression that might give his inner thoughts away. He was like a doll…a cold porcelain doll who had already forgotten how to live. Sadness crept over Naruto’s confusion as that cheerless observation hit him. It was so like Sasuke to turn his whole world upside down with just one look, but this time it had followed an even stranger action. Naruto licked his lips involuntarily, which Sasuke followed with an oddly focused gaze.

Naruto felt his face heat and certain neglected parts of him tingled. He closed his eyes for a moment, willing the unwanted sensations away. Then he sighed. Sasuke’s dark eyes drifted to the side, until it looked as though he was watching something on the dirt that only he could see. The tree leaves rustled in a particularly strong breeze before becoming silent once again and the snores of his teammates continued to hum below it all.

Naruto thought back to the mission he was supposed to be undertaking. The mission he had been training for for two years. He was supposed to finally break into Orochimaru’s lair and retrieve Sasuke. But now, Sasuke was right here, so close, and Naruto didn’t even know what to say or how to feel. Wasn’t he supposed to be happy? Wasn’t he supposed to jump up and say, ‘Come back with me, Sasuke-Teme!’ and then he would bind Sasuke with some incredible jutsu and pull him kicking, and possibly screaming, all the way back home.

Naruto traced Sasuke’s dappled, moonlit hair, with his gaze, which now messily covered half the boy’s face, except for his eyes. It seemed Sasuke didn’t know what to say either. It was like they didn’t even know each other anymore – like they were starting all over – and suddenly, Naruto felt heart-wrenchingly alone. Suddenly, he felt very tired and very uncertain.

“Why?” His voice croaked, wrenching from his throat as though he had never spoken before in his life.

Sasuke’s eyes snapped back to his and Naruto remained silent. That was the question he had wanted answered since before Sasuke had decided to leave – since before he had decided to abandon everyone in Konoha, before he had decided to abandon him. Why? Why was he so angry? Why did he leave? Why did he suddenly come back into his life, when he had been absent for more than two years? Why…why did he kiss him just now?

The silence between them was deafening, but Naruto urged him to answer with the desperate look in his dark-blue eyes.

Sasuke’s voice sounded strangely meek and fatigued. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know,” Naruto repeated with a slight frown, his next question was incredulous. “You don’t know?”

Sasuke just looked back at him silently, no emotions escaping his mask.

“You don’t know why you left? You don’t know why you decided to become a complete bastard?! You don’t know why you suddenly decided to come back now, of all times?!” Naruto growled out the last words. “You don’t even fucking know why you…?”

…kissed me.

Naruto’s speech left him, suddenly, and he bit his lip. Somehow, he just couldn’t ask the question, but Sasuke seemed to know exactly where he was going with it.

Much to Naruto’s dismay and, paradoxically, trepidation, Sasuke moved himself slowly, repositioning himself so that he was once again fully on top of Naruto, his face just centimeters away from Naruto’s own. Naruto could feel Sasuke’s warm breath cascade over his lips and he shivered involuntarily. Naruto’s gaze slid down to Sasuke’s lips which gradually grew into the ghost of a smirk as he watched.

Sasuke moved a bit closer until Naruto could almost feel Sasuke’s lips brush against his. His heart beat faster until it was racing within his rib cage and he sucked in a breath.

Sasuke’s low voice spread over him in the form of pleasurable tingles, which eventually ended at his toes. “What do you want me to say…Naruto?”

Naruto tried to look at anywhere else but him. A familiar sense of shame grew on his conscience, because he knew exactly what he wanted Sasuke to say. And he knew the exact words and the exact setting in which they should be said. He even knew what actions should accompany them. He knew all of this since the month he began training all alone, while Ero-sennin went looking in nearby villages for ‘clues’. He knew the perfect answer in his deepest dreams – fantasies that he kept completely secret from anyone else. He knew it all, and that frightened him more than anything else. What would they think if they knew? How would they think of him? How would he think of him?

Cool fingers sliding across his cheek forced Naruto to look into Sasuke’s eyes, and Naruto couldn’t keep the soft whimper from exiting his throat at that moment. Sasuke’s soft lips stifled it, and Naruto could feel his barriers breaking apart. He closed his eyes and snaked his arms around Sasuke, holding him tightly and desperately as the dark-haired boy deepened the kiss.

Sasuke’s hands lowered, sliding down Naruto’s sides before dipping under his shirt. Naruto gasped as pale fingers found his nipples. Sasuke’s kiss turned into light nips and licks that allowed for Naruto’s gasps to mingle with his shallow breaths.

Naruto’s shirt was pulled off soon after that, revealing his slightly perspiring abdomen to the cold night air. Sasuke sat up just enough to take his own off as well, momentarily breaking the increasingly frantic lip lock.

Naruto watched blearily, Sasuke’s pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight that barely broke through the tree tops to the forest floor below. Naruto suddenly felt as though this wasn’t really happening, like it was all a uniquely realistic dream, but Sasuke’s cold hands once again pressed against his chest and Naruto forgot all about his troubled thoughts.

Sasuke’s head descended and his black bangs brushed the skin as his hot tongue slid across Naruto’s chest before latching onto a pert nipple with his teeth. Naruto’s back involuntarily arched upward as he swallowed an unexpected moan. This became harder to do as Sasuke’s hand found his crotch and rubbed against it expertly.

Biting his lip almost to the point of breaking the skin, Naruto looked down at the top of Sasuke’s dark head. He pushed a hand through the soft, black locks, pressing his head against his sensitized flesh. Sasuke grabbed Naruto’s hand by the wrist and pulled it off, lifting his head so that he could lock gazes with Naruto.

A smirk tugged at Sasuke’s lips and a dangerous look crossed his eyes, the only warning before he slid his pelvis down against Naruto’s. Naruto grunted, but immediately grabbed Sasuke’s buttocks in order to feel the boy’s obvious arousal better against his own. Both boys stifled moans from deep in their throats as one thrust in particular stimulated them just right.

They rocked against each other, stifling increasingly harried moans and gasps with passionate kisses. It wasn’t long before pants were discarded along with under clothes. The perspiring flesh of one lean body slid against the other much more easily, causing both boys to hold their mouths with their hands in order to stifle the moans that would surely echo throughout the forest if they were allowed to release in pure abandon.

Naruto could feel the pressure within his pelvis tightening with each sliding thrust of Sasuke’s hips. Naruto’s hand was bleeding now from where he was biting it in his effort to keep silent. The other boy had taken to trailing wet and chaotic kisses down the side of Naruto’s throat, which only made the pressure within his body build to a point near agony.

Sasuke’s thrusts and sticky weight ceased in the amount of time it took for him to pull Naruto’s ankles above his slick pale shoulders. Naruto tensed in preparation for what he knew would come next. Sasuke looked at him for a moment, breathing harshly, before he thrust his hips forward. Naruto’s bleeding hand dropped to his side, where it gripped the dirt tensely. His blonde head fell back a bit, exposing the slightly bruised column of his throat, and his mouth opened where no sound escaped.

Naruto closed his eyes, focusing on the pain and pleasure that enveloped him with each and every thrust that Sasuke made. He could feel his eyes prickle behind his eyelids and soon, tear drops collected at the corners of his eyes, but from pain or pleasure he didn’t know. Both seemed to bleed into one glorious sensation.

Naruto felt his body tighten in preparation for the final release and he bit his lip, before the expected climax racked through him. His mind when completely blank, an experience that felt better than anything else up until then. He no longer felt anything but waves of pleasure; no more pain, no more guilt, no more loss, no more emptiness, no more memories.

When Naruto finally came to, Sasuke had collapsed on top of him. Naruto smiled a bit, looking down at the top of Sasuke’s head. He raised a heavy hand and pushed it through the slightly greasy raven locks, stroking the hair lovingly. The bliss that filled him now was like nothing he had ever experienced before and nothing he ever thought he could feel in this life. His smile broadened, the spark of it reaching his eyes in a way it had never done before.

After a while, Sasuke lifted his head and looked up at Naruto. His eyes held something Naruto had never seen in them before; something far from cold and dark which made Naruto feel warm and accepted.

“Naruto,” Sasuke’s voice sounded strangely urgent. “It’s time to get up.”

“Get up, Naruto.”

A jolt passed through his stomach as though he was falling from a very great height, and suddenly, Naruto’s eyes snapped open to see Sakura worried face very close to his. He blinked.

“We’ve got to go, Naruto,” Sakura spoke, her voice sounding very far away to Naruto’s ears as though she was speaking to him from the other end of a tunnel. “It’s morning.”

Naruto just stared at her, before the implications of everything dawned on him and a painful weight fell upon his chest. Attempting to his best ability to mask the pain in his heart, Naruto forced his lips into a smile and he nodded at Sakura, still not trusting his voice to keep up the charade.

She looked at him strangely, but she eventually got up without a word to help Yamato pick up the used cooking-ware from the night before.

Naruto sat up and positioned himself so his back was to them, holding his chest tightly in order to somehow stifle the sharp pain he felt rising up his throat. His fingers clenched within the fabric of his shirt, and a horribly stricken look crossed his face; one that, if anyone who knew him had seen it, would send shockwaves of grief into their own hearts.

He kept himself from shaking as he pulled his jacket on followed by his shoes.

Again…Just a dream…it was just a dream…

Sasuke…

“Naruto!”

Naruto looked back to see that his teammates were waiting for him. He got up and pasted a smile on his face, one that clearly didn’t reach his eyes. On the inside, he felt exhausted, like he always had after a long night in which he fell asleep before he could complete his ritual; the nights when he had those frighteningly realistic dreams about Sasuke.

Sai sent him a strange look, but didn’t speak as Naruto followed them out of the campsite.

The sun fell through the trees and hit Naruto’s face, nearly blinding him with its brightness and calming his frayed nerves. They all walked on silently toward their final destination.

A black crow flew out of a nearby pine tree, its wings nearly grazing Naruto’s ear, before it catapulted higher into the blue sky. Naruto frowned as he watched it fly farther and farther away, his eyes suddenly alight with determination.

Sasuke…I will bring you back…no matter what.
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

   YAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! my sister danille said if i stop cutting myself from now till july 2nd she'l buy me a puppy!!!!^^ *squee!!!* yes yes!!!!! i'm super happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but.......i'm not sure i can stop cutting, i'll just have to hide it, i'll just do it on my legs or something. cause she said if i do it again she'll take my puppy away :(. wells i'll try to stop anyways (for loyallty purposes) well tommorow we gots an all star game. wish us luck (me and GaarasGal that is) me and some other girls r gonna spray paint our hair blue and paint paw prints and our # on our cheeks ( our city is mulberry and the panther is our mascot so thats wats up with the paw)well bye byes!!!
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if its a dancing sasuke then it work

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   well^^...
i'm allowed back on again, and i've been having tons of fun! i went to my cousins house and stayed the night with her and her friend leah, who is now also my friend. anyways we stayed up all night (most of it anyways) but ashley fell asleep, and when i was about to leah says "rosie, can u walk outside with me?" so i said "sure" and we went outside and she wanted to smoke a ciggeratte T.T shame. and then she offered me one. she said "its not bad for u, but i'm tryin to cut down" and i was like "uhhh no" then we walked back inside and shes like thx for walkin with me^^. so then we basically went to sleep. but befor that when we were takin softball pics, then we were all in the board room and i was playin with scissors, and kayla goes "whats the matter with u!" snatches them away and makes a face at me. thats ok though cause only like 3 girls on the team like her (preppy b****) anyways when i g2 ashleys house she wanted me to change because of the cuts on my leg, so i had to undress with her, leah and her 20 something year old brother in the room. embarassing? uh yeah!!! a dude was in the room!!!! but for the most part i had a great time!!!
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Sunday, June 17, 2007

   still not allowed on
ok i'm stil not allowed on,so i'm doin this in secret. cause i have something to tell u all, i'm basically goin to therapy from on of danilles friends mom, cause danille is just like me, (btw danille is my 21 year old sister) she went through the same as me and tried to commit suicide and was in the hospital for 3 days when she was my age! so she gave me 10 dollars to listen to her, and she said she still hates mom too, she said if it wasnt for us she wouldnt keep commin back here. she lets me tell her all my secrets and my plans to run away, and suggestions to make them better^^. i didnt kno how awesome she was, she said i can stay with her as long as i like, but i told her i need to get some things done befor i move anywhere. but i guess its all good^^
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Saturday, June 16, 2007

   oh well
me in trouble....again! well poh well i wont be on for a little while. byes.
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

guess wut?
guess wut, i just got into this huge fight with my older sister rachel heres wut happened: rachel was beenin a b**** on the computer when i told her dad said to get off so i could get on, and she wouldnt so i was callin for dad, and she goes (her exact words so excuse the language) "ughhh i fukin hate u , u stupid emo bitch punk ass." so i say "yep! i know i am" and rachel says "thats y i said it" and i said "thats y i agreed." then she started to turn off the computer so i grab her arm and tell her nt to turn it of so she pushes me and pushes the chair into me, so i pick up the chair and push it into her and we grab each other and she says "who do u think u are?" and i say "i'll kill u" and thats when dad came in and stopped the fight and rachel was getting madder cause i just kept agreeing with her until she brought up emo stuff about how they act, and i said how would u kno? ur not emo u retard. and she says so! emos think they r nothin thats y emos cut! so i say sure sure rachel, so se oes hat little jump thing at me, so i almost burst out laughing!!! i so owed her butt!!!
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Monday, June 11, 2007

well heres mine
What would you think if:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1.I committed suicide:
2.I said I like you
(for opposite/same gender):
3.I kissed you
(for opposite/same gender):
4.I liked someone you didn't:
5.I was hospitalized:
6.I ran away from home:

What you think of my:

7.Personality:
8.Who are you?
9.Are we friends?
10.When and how did we meet?
11.What do you think of me?
12.How long do you think we will be friends or enemies?
13.Do you love me?
14.Have I ever hurt you?
15.Would you hug me?
16.Would you kiss me?
17.Are we close?
18.Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
19.How long have you known me?
20.Describe me in one word.
21.What was your first impression?
22.Do you still think that way about me now?
23.What do you think my weakness is?
24.Do you think I'll get married (if yes to who)?
25.What reminds you of me?
26.What's something you would change about me?
27.How well do you know me?
28.Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
29.If so tell me now? (or PM me)
30.Do you think I would kill someone?
31.Are you going to put this on your otaku site and see what I say about you??

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